Many of you have had your baby and are already facing the challenges that come with a new baby. Many are also expecting your new baby and not quite sure what the impact will be on your life, body or relationships. What can you do to help prepare you for the journey of motherhood ahead of you? Learn from many, many moms who have opened up and shared their secrets, confessions and brutal honesty about motherhood to help moms everywhere know that they are not alone and affirming that being a mom is hard work.
Here are a few words of wisdom or "dirty little secrets" that were recently the focus of an episode of Oprah featuring the authors of several books, many mom bloggers and Cheryl Hines of the new series In the Motherhood.
First of all, many (if not all) moms had similar sentiments. They felt alone, isolated, and that expectations on moms today are unrealistic. Interestingly, many moms felt they were the only ones who struggled and thought everyone else had it all together and lived balanced, fulfilling lives with perfect marriages. No one wanted to admit that they were having a very difficult time. The truth that came out of the segment (and as documented in several books by Trisha Ashworth and Amy Nobile) is that women need to support eachother and be empathic and non-judgmental. Being a mom is hard. Working outside the home, staying at home, working from home are all valid choices for moms and one path is not easier than the other. Being a mom is about forgiving yourself for not being perfect and accepting that you are doing the best you can.
Some of the women who commented on the shows shared a rare glimpse into "real life" as a mom. One mom who admitted to making her child's lunch entirely out of the snacks in her car. Another mom admitted that she sometimes doesn't get to shower for three days, many admitted that they don't bath their kids every day, and one who admitted that the day she had to buy a minivan was one of the worst days of her life. Many shared feelings about the strains on their marriages and friendships.
Motherhood changes your life and although the above sounds like its negative, that isn't the intention of this blog or the Oprah show. The goal was to let moms acknowledge that it is hard and the only people who truly understand and empathize are other moms. We need to remember to give ourselves a break and support each other. Today's expectations are unrealistic and many moms struggle to meet up to them mistakenly thinking everyone else is.
Please visit Oprah.com to find out more about "The Secret Lives of Moms" and check out the books Trisha Ashworth and Amy Nobile: I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids, I'd Trade My Husband for a Housekeeper and Dirty Little Secrets from Otherwise Perfect Moms.