Having a c-section is usually not a decision a mom-to-be makes lightly. Sometimes the decision is made due to risks that were revealed during routine checkups. Often first c-sections aren't planned and are the result of complications during labor (maternal fever, fetal distress or breech position, GBS, prolonged labor with failure to progress etc). Subsequent births may be VBACs (Vaginal Birth After C-Section) or planned c-sections which each carry their own risks and emotional stress for the mom.
What makes the decision so hard?
"It's easier to know when baby will arrive and skip the whole painful labor part”, “You are so lucky" are among some comments moms might hear. The reality is that it isn't easy (See "A Planned C-Section is no Walk in the Park") and it can be incredibly emotional and self-reflective time. Most women want to experience a natural birth or as close to as possible. There is a sense of pride, even victory, to be able to endure labor and experience birth the way it is intended.
For many who have had emergency c-sections the feelings of missing out on a beautiful, natural experience can be overwhelming. "Why couldn't I do it?", "What is wrong with me?", "Why can't I do what other women can?" and these feelings can make them feel like less of a woman or question their ability to be a mother. These feelings may be passing thoughts that can be quickly dismissed or they may become consuming. Talking to your friends, your doctor or a therapist will help you get through these feelings in a healthy way. It's not a failure or a reflection of your ability to be a mom or inability to endure labor.
It is major surgery with at least a 6-week recovery time and it is much harder to recover while chasing other children around. These things are considered as well when a mom is making the choice to have a c-section. Families tend to be living further away from each other and the support that might have existed a generation ago doesn't exist now.
In the end, a healthy baby and mother is the goal. In a recent conversation with an OBGYN he said he would support a woman to go ahead with a VBAC if they had one previous c-section but would not be as encouraging if the patient had 2 or more previous c-sections. The risks are higher for the mother and baby and in his words "If it goes bad, it goes really bad." Why would you take the chance if you had the option? It isn't "an easy way out" or a luxury for many moms who really want a natural birth -- it's a difficult and well thought out decision to do what is best for baby and mom.